Some of my favorite Christmas memories have nothing to do with material things. Of course, there was that weird little Mr. Machine my Uncle gave me one year and the Dukes of Hazzard sleeping bag that stand out in my memories of good gifts. But mainly, it was the tradition of being with the people I loved.
Growing up in the late seventies and eighties meant the decorations were more minimal and the travel wasn’t extravagant. Christmas was a special program at church, a meal made with love, and a Christmas tree with red balls, white lights, and an angel perched at the top.
I always reveled in the excitement of Santa coming and was fortunate that there were always wonderful gifts around the tree. There were probably many lean years, but I was never aware. My family stretched money well and cooked even better.
But sometimes the money won’t stretch and the stress of the holidays weighs heavy on the minds of Mamas and Daddies. Everywhere we turn, there is extravagance. It has become the norm for everything to be over the top. I never fault a creative Mama with a big pocketbook. But I can assure you this…the Mama with a skinny one does not love her children any less.
It feels like we are in a season of extreme haves and have-nots. Every day I spy posts of people trying to make ends meet just to put dinner on the table and in the same scroll, I spot another family flying off to here, there, and everywhere.
With this heavy on my heart, I was touched when I read a recent post on a community group’s social media page. A sweet woman was passing along encouragement and is allowing me to share her family’s story with you.
“If you’re feeling discouraged or like your Christmas won’t be great, I want to share a story that might help.
One year, my parents were struggling financially and could only afford one gift for each of us. Honestly, I can’t even remember what the gift was. But my mom didn’t want Christmas to feel like a letdown, so she came up with a creative idea. She hid our wrapped present around the house and left a clue under the tree. She wanted Christmas morning to last longer than just opening one gift. So, we spent the morning hunting for our present, then gathered to open them once everyone had found theirs. It was so much fun, and it made the experience much more memorable. We loved it so much that we made it a tradition every year after that.
Fast forward to when I had my children. There was one Christmas early on when we were feeling the financial strain, so we brought back the tradition of hiding a gift. The next year, we didn’t hide a present because we had more. But my kids revolted, saying it was their favorite part of Christmas, and insisted we hide just one gift for them. So, every year since then, we’ve hidden a gift for each of them, no matter how big or small the Christmas was.
I share this to say that one of my favorite Christmas memories came from the hardest year my parents had. My mom cried that year, thinking she would disappoint us, but none of us remember the actual gift. What we all remember is the experience, and it’s one of the best Christmas memories from our childhood.
The truth is, the gifts won’t matter in 20 years. Don’t feel like you’re failing as a parent if things aren’t perfect. Sometimes, the best memories come from the hardest times. Looking back, we wouldn’t change a thing, even my parents. So, make your own memories, even if things look different than expected. If everything had been easy every year, we would have missed out on this special tradition that has spanned two generations. My grown kids even tell me that when they have their own little ones, they’ll keep this tradition alive too as it is still their favorite part of Christmas gifts.”
I was so glad when she agreed to let me share as a part of my column. I couldn’t have said it any better than exactly the way it was posted.
Merry Christmas, in plenty and want. And I promise you this, long after the trends have faded and the gifts have gone to the donation pile, if your children feel loved..that’s what they’ll remember most.
