Have you ever felt held back or stiff armed from achieving your dreams?
I’ve been stuck in this holding place for what’s felt like weeks, months, even years in some areas, if I’m being honest.
Most recently, something was in my way, blocking me from getting to where I wanted to be going.
I often wonder if the overwhelming amount of information that is poured out in front of us every single day is the real enemy at play.
See, the moment I begin to move my fingers across the keys, my pen across a page, or sit down to pray, something starts happening. The words start to flow more freely. Once my mind has a lane open up, it’s all gas baby.
God knows that I am a dreamer. He knows I love to write and want to be a writer someday. He knows I love to build relationships. He knows I love to teach and has blessed me with the opportunities!
I’m constantly getting glimmers or bits of inspiration that fuel God’s reality for me. Just yesterday as I was scrambling to get the eggs made and ready for work, I had a triology idea pop into my mind that rounded out a book series I’ve been thinking about for a long time.
Our ideas of what is, is not always aligned with what God is planning.
I’d like to address the elephant standing in my room right now because I have a feeling, there is one person who will read this and feel empowered to address their big elephant too.
This elephant has been sitting on top of my self worth, convincing me that he is too heavy and awkward to move out of the way.
Imagine with me for a moment, a weight as heavy as an elephant sitting on top of the person God made you to be. You feel trapped, unable to move through life doing what brings you joy and peace.
That weight you are feeling is not God’s doing. It’s not a big precious elephant either. My friend, the discomfort you have with accepting you are worthy of good things is the enemy.
Jesus says, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” Jesus reassures us as He continues, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
Sometimes it’s easier for me to say “eww, yeah not me”, than it is for me to say “I am worthy.”
When we allow those lies to get in our way, it really does warp our spirit into believing an untrue reality.
Why is it that I struggle so hard to see myself as worthy, though I have no doubt that you are exceptional, beautifully made, and totally deserving of every good thing?
I believe that no matter what you have done in your life, God has forgiven you and loves you deeply. He wants to see you full of joy and living a life that is everlasting. I want that for you too.
The thorn in my side is that I struggle to believe that God loves me as much as He loves you.
As a Christian who has been following Jesus for almost a decade, I’m here to tell you that I still go through seasons where I feel this way. I get caught up in the world’s reality, forget to sit with my bible, and feel mute when I go to pray.
There, I’ll find myself stuck in the mud with an elephant sitting on my lap before I recall a scripture that lifts me out of my pity.
There is power when we anchor into God’s word, absorb it, and save it for later.
“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.”
While I’m already on my knees, I’m reminded that God made me, therefore I am worthy. I’m reminded of sacrifice and that Jesus didn’t only die for you, He died for me too.
I’m reminded by the support from my community, the love from my family, and hugs I get randomly; I am deserving, and so are you.
The challenge this week is for us both. Let’s pause, and take notice of what is feeling heavy. Is the weight we are carrying a conviction that God gave, or are we toting around an unnecessary load for the enemy?
Throughout this journey of faith, we will fall short, feel doubtful, or find ourselves tricked. The most important thing to remember is that God is the author of your story, and as long as you have a pulse, He isn’t finished yet!
My hope is that your soul knows very well that you are worthy, marvelous, and wonderfully made. I’m praying for freedom from the thorn in your your life this week!
With unconditional love and peace,
Makenna Curtis
Local Pulse Community Writer
Holy Moments
