Take a moment to reflect with me on a time where you really felt seen.
I’m not talking about being seen in the grocery store during the busy time, at the soccer field, or in the car line.
The kind of “seeing” I’m referring to is deeper than you think.
Recently, I’d been sitting in a team meeting and the person leading began with a prayer. A coworker and friend sitting next to me placed their hand on my back in the middle of it, just as the prayer was naturally shifting towards my need. With heads bowed and our eyes closed, I felt seen.
A few months ago I was feeling tired and ready for a break, searching for purpose in the work I was doing. Randomly, around the same time of these heavy feelings, a friend who feels like family stopped me in the parking lot one day and introduced a purpose-fulled opportunity to me. Again, I felt seen.
It feels good to feel seen.
It seems like these experiences are ways that God uses His people to show others who He is. These are the holy moments, the moments that inspire me to keep trusting.
I’ve not always felt seen. Thinking back to early childhood, I had little self-confidence and found myself trying to hide behind a mask so no one could actually see me. I’d go to the parties, I’d do the attention seeking things, though I always felt like there was something more for me. I ignored the knowing that there was “something more” for my life, and the true me was slowly disappearing.
Back then, I started going to youth groups and church, still never feeling that I was worthy.
At that time, my attention was hyper-focused on;
Who is judging me?
Who is making fun of me?
How am I making others feel with whatever I am doing?
To my surprise, these intrusive thoughts followed me out of adolescence and into early adulthood. It felt like standing in a crowd of judgmental people, all eyes on me.
I lived so far outside of my spirit and my self-confidence dipped low. When I’d look in the mirror I wouldn’t even recognize who it was looking back at me.
Queue the breaking point in my mid 20’s where I finally hit the metaphorical brick wall. The impact was transformational and though painful, it was the awakening my soul needed.
This breaking point led me to a small church on the beach. Maybe the nudge for “something more” was a God thing. Thankfully, this small church accepted me for me. By way of big hugs, kind smiles, and genuine welcoming.
I wanted to be a part of the community. After a short time attending the church, and savoring His word through our pastors teaching, something started to change in me.
My hardened heart started to soften because God was using all of His ways to get through to me.
I started to feel seen in a different way. It no longer felt like a crowd of eyes looking, judging, or poking fun at me.
I’m going to give it to you straight. Being seen by God is overwhelming. There are songs about the “overwhelming, never ending, reckless love of God”. Once you open up your heart to truly feel seen by God, it has the potential to be heart wrenching.
Oddly enough, it feels good to feel seen when you are experiencing something heart wrenching.
The mask I’d worn for so long actually started to dissolve right off of me. No longer was I concerned with the heavy chains of what for so long burdened me.
My faith childlike and hungry, I savored every ounce of His mercy. I’m glad to know they are new every day (Lam. 3:23) because I’m still needy and hungry.
There’s a verse in (Gen. 16:13) where a woman, Hagar, talks about “the God who sees me”. This kind of seeing is a work of God through His spirit, brought to human life through Christ.
Absolutely intimidating and wonderfully amazing.
I challenge you to notice this week. Notice if you feel depleted and need to be seen. Often times when we become aware of what we need, it means we are more open to the idea of receiving. My hope is that someone or something meets you in your noticing and makes you feel seen.
Thank you to all of the friends, family, strangers, and holy moments in between that have developed my trust in the power of God and all the good He is working.
Makenna Curtis
Local Pulse Community Writer
Holy Moments
