Well, it’s that time of year again. I can’t believe Thanksgiving is less than three weeks away! It’s exciting and fun — I love all things winter and holidays — but let’s be honest: it’s also the season of bring on the stress.
The calendars start to fill. We overcommit. The inbox explodes with Black Friday deals, holiday party invites, and gift guides galore. Maybe you’re stressed about your schedule, finances, or what to wear to all the parties on the calendar. Whatever it is, the pressure piles up fast.
Earlier this week, I hosted my first live coaching call over on Substack, all about honoring our bodies and boundaries during the holidays. One of the biggest takeaways? The power of saying no.
You’ve probably seen that meme: “Make it a “NO”-vember.” It’s funny, but it’s also incredibly true. Saying no — simple as it sounds — can be one of the most powerful tools for protecting your peace and your mental health. & actually ENJOYING the holidays!
Many of us, especially the people-pleasers out there (hiii, in people- pleaser recovery over here!), tend to overcommit. We don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or disappoint people. But take a moment to think about what happens inside your body when you say no.
Do you feel that little twist in your stomach?
Do you overthink the text message?
Do you replay the conversation in your head all day long?
If that’s you — I see you. That used to be me, too. Saying no felt so hard because I equated it with letting people down. But over time, I learned that every “yes” I gave away freely came with a cost — less energy, less presence, less peace.
I like to describe it like a stack of plates. Each plate represents a responsibility — your job, kids, errands, relationships, commitments. And when you keep stacking those plates too high, eventually they fall. When they do, you feel frazzled, overwhelmed, and maybe rushed — which, by the way, puts your nervous system straight into fight-or-flight mode (!).
& That’s not where we want to live, especially during the holidays.
We want to feel grounded, calm, and present. Because when we’re regulated in our bodies, it affects everything else: how we show up for our families, how we treat ourselves, and how much joy we actually experience this season.
So here are a few reminders as you head into the busiest time of the year:
1. The Power of Pause.
You don’t have to say yes right away. When an invite or request comes your way, take a moment — breathe, look at your calendar, and ask yourself, “Do I have capacity for this?”
2. Check your motivation.
Are you saying yes out of obligation or genuine desire? Will it drain you or energize you? Sometimes love looks like saying no.
3. Remember: boundaries protect relationships.
When you honor your limits, you show up with more presence, patience, and authenticity — and that’s what your loved ones really want.
4. “I can love you and say no.” – the power of and.
Whew, this is a hard one! But, so freeing.
As we head into this season, give yourself permission to pause, to rest, and to say no when you need to. Because sometimes, no is the healthiest, kindest, and most loving word you can choose.
Here’s to a season of peace, presence & JOY!
