One of my favorite storytellers is Shel Silverstein. I can vividly see the black and white line drawings pressed between a green tree on a green cover. The book was worn, and we’d checked it out from the library with my grandmother. She’d hold the book in her long, lightly freckled fingers as she’d read to my brother and I. I can hear the plastic cover of the binding make a quiet crinkle. Her natural British accent brought extra life to everything she would read to us. Her reading was fluid and captivating, like a narrator in a movie.
There were many stories we’d read together. The one about the tree growing old with the little boy turned old man has stuck with me forever.
It’s funny, isn’t it? Poetry. A song. A story. Some of them just stick with us whether we like it or not. I can recall poems and recite songs after not hearing them for years. It’s as if I travel back, sense the memory, and have a visceral experience.
Memories have an impact on us, the sticky ones especially.
The memory of The Giving Tree story has been a pillar in the way I value friendship. Now that I am a mother myself, I’ll find myself in a position to offer guidance to my daughter on how to be a good steward of friendship in her own life.
What I say or do, she is watching. Our children watch and absorb everything.
Am I being a good friend?
Do I treat people the way I want to be treated?
Is this friend being a good friend?
Are others treating me the way I deserve to be treated?
These are a few of the questions I learned to ask from reading and rereading this precious story so many years ago.
We talk often about friendship and the importance of being a good friend. From many years of meeting friends, making friends, and letting friends go – we’ve come up with a special friend code.
Seed Friends
- Acquaintances
- Some grow and some don’t
- People you may not go deep with
- Pass or fail the vibe check
Seed friends are the new friendships. These are the people who are scattered along our path and we are to notice if they take root or not. Some seeds will be beneficial to us, and we may be beneficial to them. Some may fall along the path we are on and simply choose not to grow. We must be open to treating seeds with kindness even if we are not intended to help them grow.
Flower Friends
- Seasonal
- Beautiful
- Some seasons they are abundant and some seasons are less fruitful
- Exactly what you needed
- Could come around again
- Admirable
- Teach you something
Flower friends take root. These are friendships that attract you to friendship or deter you on a deeper level when you lose them. Flower friends may stick around for a season, they may pop up at different times of life, and feel easy to pick things back up where you’ve left off.
Tree Friends
- Deep roots
- Long standing
- Been through thick and thin
- Restful
- Nurturuing
- Sustainable
Tree friends are the long lasting, could be considered family friends. These are the friends who stick through every season, easy or tough, because the roots are deep and permanent. Tree friends are the ones you consider as an emergency contact when you need more than one, they are a phone call away, or sitting with you on your darkest days.
Connection with others is a by product of how we were made, though this doesn’t mean that we are for everybody. Friendship is hard, especially when you are in 5th grade.
I’m thankful for “The Giving Tree” for planting the seed to honor friendships and prioritize being the friend I’d like to be.
Makenna Curtis
Faith, Family, & Entertainment Writer
Local Pulse Pensacola
