The first day of school pics (or the refusal of) have come and gone. We’re officially past the “first day of school” excitement, the new sneakers have a little wear, and the reality of early mornings, packed lunches, and nightly homework has set in. Kids have decided if they like their teachers or not and we as parents are feeling every bit of that. Whether your child is in elementary, high school, or just left for college, the first few weeks of school can be an adjustment for them and for us as parents. Anyone else more tired than usual? Me!
Here are a few ways I’ve found helpful to keep the momentum going, encourage your kids, and stay sane yourself. Yes, you matter too mom and dad.
Keep Routines Simple and Consistent
Kids thrive on structure, but that doesn’t mean your evenings have to feel like a military operation. Instead of overcomplicating, create a simple rhythm: snack, homework, downtime, dinner, then bedtime. Of course, after school activities could make this a little more difficult but we’ll talk about that later. Predictability helps kids settle in and know what to expect and it helps parents avoid nightly battles. I’ve also found that creating a calm environment for them to come home to is also helpful. There is so much going on a school, they need some time to decompress. Don’t overwhelm them with questions about how their day was as soon as you see them. Be happy to see them, give hugs willingly, and let them lead the conversations or lack thereof. Save that for a couple of hours later, maybe over dinner, you’ll get better answers. Trust me, I’ve done both and this is the better option.
Homework Doesn’t Have to Be a Struggle
Homework time can quickly become a stress point. A few small shifts can make it smoother:
- Designate a quiet spot for work. It doesn’t have to be a desk, just a consistent place.
- Encourage “chunking” assignments into smaller tasks with breaks in between.
- Be available for questions, but resist the urge to hover. You’re there to guide, not to do the work for them.
- Don’t feel bad, none of us know how to help them with math. It’s like reading a foreign language. If all else fails, hire a tutor!
Motivation Is Built, Not Forced
The second-week slump is real. Once the novelty wears off, kids can lose steam. Gone are the days of slowly getting into the hard work, it’s full steam ahead and there’s a lot to learn. Instead of nagging, look for ways to connect effort to reward:
- Praise progress, not perfection.
- Celebrate small wins—finishing a big project, studying without being asked, or showing kindness to a classmate. For teens, they want fun drinks. Have you heard of 7 Brew? Most teens are obsessed. At least my high schooler is.
- Give them ownership where you can, whether it’s choosing their after-school snack, organizing their backpack, or choosing what’s for dinner that evening.
Don’t Overschedule
I am preaching to the choir here. Once upon a time I was driving up and down Airport Blvd to drop off at dance, drop off a soccer, back to dance to pick up, back to soccer, usually dinner on the go then home to crash and do it all again the next day. I’m tired just thinking back to those days but what I wouldn’t give to go back to them for just a few days. I’d soak it all in a little more. It’s tempting to fill the calendar with activities and sports right away, but kids (and parents) need margin. Protect a few evenings each week for family downtime. Boredom isn’t a bad thing; it sparks creativity and rest.
Check in on Mental Health
School brings social pressure, academic stress, and in some cases, separation anxiety. A quick daily check-in—“What was the best part of your day? The hardest part?”—goes a long way. Teens may not always open up right away, but consistency communicates that you’re there and listening. Check out my website TheRealKstar.com where you can find the Senior Year Chat Pack, 100 questions to ask your senior throughout this exciting year. Stay tuned to my Instagram for a middle school version that will be ready soon. Pay attention to how much time they’re spending alone, behind closed doors. Pop in, say hi, and hang out with them. Even if they push you away, they need you now more than ever. Keep trying.
For Parents of College Students
If you’ve recently dropped your child off at college, you know this season comes with a different kind of adjustment. A few things help:
- Set healthy communication rhythms. Daily check-ins can feel smothering, but weekly calls or texts keep connection alive.
- Send care packages. Even a small box of snacks or a handwritten note reminds them they’re loved.
- Give them space to problem-solve. It’s hard, but letting them navigate challenges builds resilience.
Personally, I’ve yet to have a child leave me to attend college out of town. So some friends helped me with these points. I have a feeling our 3rd will be the one who leaves us for the college life.
Take Care of You, Too
If you know me at all, you know I’m a huge advocate for moms getting “me time.” Say yes to coffee with your bestie or a simple dinner out with your spouse where you don’t have to get dressed up, you just get to connect, messy bun and all. If you aren’t whole, you can’t parent well. Remember, parenting through the school year is a marathon, not a sprint. Your energy sets the tone for your household. Prioritize rest, eat well, and carve out time for yourself, even 15 minutes of quiet time in the evening.
The first few weeks of school set the tone for the year. By keeping routines simple, encouraging independence, and creating space for connection, you’re setting your kids up not just for academic success, but for emotional resilience.
Remember, your steady presence matters far more than perfection. They learn from watching your example.
You’ve got this mom and dad! I’m here for you.
