We’ve all heard the term “routine” before. Similar to how most words work in the English language, the word routine, has many meanings depending on how you use it.
Google defines routine as a regular sequence of action or fixed program.
If you are a parent, you know the quickness at which kids develop from early stages of infancy into adolescence, and before you know it, they are grown and out the door. From the day you bring your baby home to the moment they prepare to enter the world as adults, the only constant is how often the routine is changing.
It makes me want to punch Google in the kidney when I read “fixed program” or “regular sequence” because there is nothing regular or fixed about the ever-changing life of a parent.
The second we begin to get a handle on things, another milestone is reached, another sports season is starting, or the hormones are kicking in and trying to regulate.
I remember in my earliest days of parenting, the only routine I could stick with was waking up and starting a pot of coffee. Truth be told, I didn’t even drink coffee at that time. The process of getting the coffee maker ready, the smell of the beans, and the satisfaction of seeing a full pot of coffee ready was enough for me. My days started off feeling accomplished and it helped me create a system of consistency.
Flash forward 10 years, I’m still making the coffee first thing in the morning, savoring the smell of the fresh grinds, and now actually drinking it once it’s ready.
Just as babies take baby steps before walking, if routine isn’t something that comes natural to your family, starting slow allows you to integrate small habits into your day to day more naturally.
For Lou and I, there are a few key areas where we focus to keep consistent in our routine. First, it is helpful to identify your style as a parent. For example, I aim to be flexible, firm, and fair.
Flexible: I know things come up for both of us, big moods, plans changing, unexpected circumstance, etc. Flexibility will look different for everyone, though it is helpful to build in margin for sudden change.
Firm: When a standard is set, I do my best not to waiver in my positioning. This applies to manners, chores, family responsibilities, etc.
Fair: I practice being quick to listen, slow to anger. Often times as parents, we can project our own onto our children. When we seek to be fair, we make space for our children to develop their voice, feel safe to express themselves, and process through problems with less anxiety.
Once you’ve identified your parenting style, you are ready to map out your routine. Knowing how you operate as a parent will help you curate a routine that is regulating for the season you are in, verses one that feels rigid and hard to achieve.
Remember, these things don’t have to happen in the the exact same sequence everyday. Think of your routine as a retainer of sacred space. Whatever routines you decide to retain should bring value to your family, regulate (balance out) your schedule, and create a consistency that gives your children something simple to plan for and to look forward each day.
Here are a few routine suggestions that have remained tried and true for our family over the last decade.
Morning Coffee (Now that Lou is 10 and struggles to focus, we’ve started to introduced a small amount of coffee in the mornings for her as well.)
Balanced Breakfast (A glass of water, protein, fruit, etc.)
Car Talk & Prayer (On the drive to and/or from school)
End of Day Debrief (While running errands, at the dinner table, etc.)
Restful Bed Time (No screens, reading together, etc.)
These retainers give us the space throughout the course of our day to stay calm, connected, and collect our thoughts from each day.
As we navigate the ever changing times that life brings, finding a way to regulate with some kind of day to day routine will help you move through life with more ease.
This model of regulating routine is not a one size fits all. Identifying your parenting style, naming the ways your family operates, and customizing a regular routine for your day to day will be an engaging family activity where everyone can participate.
Heres to regulating your family with routine and the baby steps needed to get you there!
Makenna Curtis
Faith, Family, & Entertainment Writer
Local Pulse Pensacola
