I’ve always considered myself an open book. There is this natural comfort that I have sharing with others, and find that others too find comfort in sharing with me.
This desire to share openly may be a result of having family members that studied psychology, life experiences that have shaped me, or the anointed gift of gab. As with any of us, who we become is a combination of all that we experience.
The only one who truly knows every fiber of our being is God.
– Psalm 139
As I grow older, I’ve began to understand this characteristic of myself as a gift. Peter Parker warns us about great power and the responsibility that comes with it.
When it comes to sharing, I believe the responsibility is actually the listening.
Have you ever heard something so profound and then completely forget who said it or where you heard it from?
This happened to me recently.
I can’t remember if I was talking with someone or listening to something, but I remember hearing this simple suggestion.
“When you pray, don’t forget to pause and listen.”
Job 37:14-16
I share lots with God. Everything, really. He knows what I’m grateful for, the friend that needs healing, the praise report, and what I’m needing.
Without fail, I’ll often get so caught up talking with God that I’ll forget to pause at the end of my gabbing and listen to how He is responding.
Do you ever find yourself in that same position?
Talking, talking, and talking some more without giving the space to listen?
This gentle reminder that came from somewhere has had a profound impact on me over the past couple of weeks.
“Have I given God a chance to respond to me?” I’ll think to myself.
You wouldn’t believe the answers I’ve received. Even if I could find the words to share with you what He is saying, you probably still wouldn’t believe me.
When we start actively listening, things begin to change.
I haven’t always talked to God openly. It happened for the first time when I was about 17 or 18. I remember riding my bike from my house in Gulf Breeze out to Pensacola Beach. I found myself on the sand, no one on either side of me as far as I could see down the beach.
I’d never talked to God before. What would I even say? I’d prayed before, and maybe said things to Him in my mind. Never had I opened my mouth and started talking to the God we can’t see.
I looked out over the horizon and told Him that I wanted Him to reveal himself to me. I told him about my friends who seemed to have such a strong faith and asked if there was anything like that available for me.
As I continued to sit, feeling a little silly for speaking out loud to the waves crashing and only a horizon line looking back at me, I felt something.
It wasn’t the breeze. It wasn’t a mist from the waves. I felt a hug embrace me.
Full on, wrap around style, big hug feeling.
Still, no one but me sat there on the beach.
I wondered what it was for a long time. Friends of mine who went to church would talk with me about God, bring me to youth groups, and still I was hooked on this idea that nature was the only place God would meet me.
It wasn’t until years later, lots of life in between, where I once again found myself sitting, now in the bathroom on top of the toilet (no I was not using it, I wouldn’t share that much here). This particular bathroom would be where I’d go when I needed to get away from everything.
I sat there, with my palms lifted up, open to receive. I muttered the words, “God, please save me. I can’t do this alone. I give you my life and every single part of me. You have the reins. Please guide me.”
Again, I felt the familiar embrace of invisible arms around me.
After the second embrace, this time no where near nature, I knew God wasn’t only with me when I was sitting on the sand at the beach.
I sat on top of that toilet with an unexplainable understanding that God was with me.
This feeling was one I’d hoped for, but never actually asked for. I’d done so much talking, and not once had I stopped to listen to what God had been trying to say to me.
Through His embrace, in the middle of the pause, I felt the salvation of Jesus wash over me.
Like a baby giraffe just learning how to use its long legs, I was once again new to walking. Walking with Jesus was different than walking through the world on our own two feet.
Walking with Jesus meant that I was no longer alone in anything I was experiencing.
I started seeing people differently.
I began to listen more intently.
I talked to God like He was sitting right next to me.
Over the years, these moments of feeling Gods embrace have stuck with me. If there is one thing I feel called to do during my time on this earth, it is to listen deeply and hug tightly.
If someone never leans into God the way I so desperately desire to, at least they will feel a portion of His love through me.
Whether it is on the a quiet beach or in the silence of your bathroom, I encourage you to listen. God is on the move and is ready to embrace you.
If the chatter in your mind is too loud or the world continues to distract you, next time you see me I’ll have a hug ready for you.
May peace fill your moments of pause this week, and may your heart be open to receive an embrace.
Love and hugs,
Makenna Curtis
Holy Moments Columnist
Local Pulse Pensacola
