Y’all ever sat around and pondered if you could handle a goat?
Not a proverbial goat rodeo which we handle daily, but like a real live goat? In childhood, I was labeled “gifted” and all that means is that I have a smart enough mind to come in out of the rain, but one that’s complicated enough to want to stand out in it to figure out why it’s falling and how much is necessary to flood the earth. So now and again (read: most afternoons at about 3 o’clock) I have random thoughts. The business about goats was one.
Harken back to last week’s “Who am I and what are we doing on the planet, and also am I in menopause? Column”…one of the things that happens in mid-life is that it’s easy to begin to question everything.
Who am I? What have I done with the last 40 or 50 some odd years? What am I going to do with the next ones? Do I get “next ones”? Should I sell it all and move to a farm where I raise goats and make goat milk candles?
Yes? No? Sure, whatever lady.
And then I had to get real with myself, “Dana, would you know what to do with a goat if it was standing on the half-eaten grass in front of you? No, Miss Lady. No, you would not.”
And that’s when I realized how grateful I am to have been raised with a no-nonsense Southern Grandpa, that dropped some kitchen table wisdom directly on your head.
It’s one of the problems with the world today: too many people think they’re ready for goat handling and not enough who’ll whisper sweetly in our ear that we have no business dealin’ in goats.
YouTube and TikTok have us believing we can be rock stars and homestead and make soap and parent without trauma.
You know, wild, ridiculous notions.
Don’t get me wrong, I have saved pretty pennies watching YouTube demonstrations on plumbing, changing random filters, and hot-gluing last-minute school projects. But for the most part, it wouldn’t entirely hurt to trust people to be experts in things again and to trust that maybe other people know things we don’t know.
So, if you’re in the middle of the middle and wondering where you go from here, I’m not gonna tell you that you can’t do anything in the world you want, that you can’t realize long-held dreams and make big changes.
But if you are, in fact, in the middle of a mid-life crisis, pick up a new lipstick from Sephora, take a walk, or try a new menu item.
But for crying out loud, pull yourself together and think long and hard before you get a goat.
